Practice the pause

Are we really pausing ourselves? Do you ever try doing that….? 

Before Judging ……

Have you ever thrown dirty looks for a girl who is wearing a short skirt where you can see her panty lines? Or you never nodded to a friend about someone’s story of relationship or career breakdown? Yes we do right… I did it several times. Yes I have been judgmental until I start suffering from others being judgmental about me.

Being judgmental is not a behavior it’s a psychological fact that we judge others because we need to feel better about ourselves. That gives us a feeling of superiority or secureness in short run. But unfortunately in long run the feeling of that “we never good enough” create our mind a hell.

So be aware of your behavior, Start noticing the thoughts you have about others, believe in yourself because you are insanely brainy, kind, talented, friendly, strong, charming, spirited, reliable, amusing, and cool. So there is no need for you to judge others. Always put yourself in someone else's shoes you will see the world from different eye and you will learn to be empathetic and understandable. Stop gossiping and watch your language. We can make a choice that whether we are with them or we leave them without judging. When we do that we feel good we feel happy about ourselves that we want people to be as they are not as we want. Judging someone else will not ease our mine or will not feel any good. Let few people to annoy you…. because one day you will be thankful for them for making who you are…. 

Before Assuming

Making assumptions is a very common practice for most of us. It’s always a belief without a proof. Don’t go after common assumptions like money can buy you anything and world is all about us… those are nonsense. Because deep down in our heart we know we can’t buy everything we need and other than “me” there are lot more. However, in our normal day-to-day life we often don’t stop and take the time that we should to inquire about what someone else means or is trying to say. Instead of that we assume. Our selfishness leads us towards the short cuts and finally us ends up with shitty meaningless assumptions about people and everything around us. Why can’t we be patience enough for others to let themselves reveal in front of us. Your assumptions always represent your attitudes. You must not take anything for granted if you are targeting to be a great human.  According to Stephen Covey “we simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.”  But we all know that it is not correct. So follow nothing blindly. Do or say nothing without trying to understand. Be open minded always.  Your assumptions are your doors to the world. Open it, polish it, and simply renovate it once in a while, or the darkness will remain and light won't come in.

Before Accusing

Today more than we hear “It’s not you, it's me" we hear "It's not me, it's you!". Life is always a game and we are the players. People feel stressed for variety of reasons, not only just because they fear being found out. Other than the reasons of being dishonest, cheating misusing you etc. we accuse people and everything surrounded by us for so many different reasons. Most of times we accuse people and others things when we feel guilt about ourselves not for anything else. Our actions of accusing will make others to feel confused, violated, misunderstood, unheard, guilt and many more. You need to control yourself. It’s good if you can think twice or if you can take a deep breath before splitting your anger or distress or irritation for someone else because it will prevent you from regretting later about your own actions. Why we create a chance to suffer the whole lifetime wishing we could take back our words? because  you deserve so much better.

Before React Harshly

Sometimes your intention is always very innocent but unknowingly you act very harshly for people. That is because sometimes your mouth acts faster than your brain. Becoming mindful and having self-awareness is a must for healthy life and to manage healthy relationships. Reactions always doesn’t need to be quick. Giving few extra seconds can make a big difference to your life as well as to the lives surrounded by you. Quick reactions makes others unhappy and make situations and things worse for us.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...............................................

At the end of the day all these things will make life enjoyable, peaceful and hassle free. It will make your mind free from guilt and you will be a person who unconditionally kind and lovable… You will never regret about who you are and you will feel proud about your journey….  See how wonderful is that…

Life beyond Buttons, Needles and “Jippers”  J L J

How much money is important for life? … Can anyone: answer how money changes life? … Change everything? … Can we do anything about that? …. We are living in a world where we come up with answers and clarifications for every single matter but I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to give an exact answer for this question…..

I am very glad for the person who pinch my mind to write this… since we live in a world where we are not anymore bothers to think how others  feel… there is no wonder where most of us not noticing this freaky part of life…   So this is a story of people who hunt happiness among coins and notes…. Story of young men and women who scarifies the best time of their life to earn wealth for their loved once… story of youth who lost their emotions and who lost themselves…

I met him after long time…. With blurred scrawled face of emotions… well-built good looking guy with unreadable face (trying harder, putting an extra effort while verifying nobody is reading him) …. We all are running our own battle to live. Some playing it in their own lands where they born and grown up but some stop at other corner of the world where they have never smell the joy of that soil. So this story is about the professionals who temporarily lives in other countries to build the future of their loving once.

Bangladesh is a country surrounding by two giants: one commercially, one historically. Even the country is bigger in land rich in water; it’s a country with mixed hybrid culture. Highly populated cities…..numerous health issues… child labor, under age marriages and prostitution created a different cultural experience where you can’t experience in any other country in eastern world.   

The backbone of the economy is apparel. They do all types of manufacturing, assembling, packing etc. in apparel. So the foreign labor involvement is very popular and strong. Majority is from Sri Lanka. There are around 13000 Sri Lankan's who works in Dhaka & Chittagong. Most of them are young adults where age around 25 to 40. Even they getting paid in Dollars this is not UK… not any other blossomy country in Europe. Even they wear TOMMY or OLD NAVY this is not a road in Milan or in Barcelona. Even they spray Bleu De Chanel or Paco Rabanne no one is there to smell them sincerely… fill their heart from the fragrance and to induce in a sweet coma. These roads are dusty noisy and busy. People are innocent poor and uneducated. Breeze is warming dry and empty. So it’s about them who spend the golden times of their life in an unknown land to find laughter and joy for their dear ones… 

Most of countries in Asia still suffering from poverty. It’s same for us also. After 30 years of civil war still the economic conditions are not stable. As same as all other developing nations we too suffer from all life struggles. Fortunately our knowledge and skills are highly recognized all over the world. So we have big demand for employment. This pay solves most our problems. So we are coming here to hide among buttons, needles and “jippers” (Zippers).

They smell the scent of cotton but forget to inhale the life. They taste the sweetness of coins but never the taste of self-love. They became the victims of circumstance….. Suffering from loneliness, sadness fear, hopelessness and anxiety. Life is different and difficult here but fortunately we are not bothered to accept it. As he words it “we get sold every day for the highest price”.  Question is “is it worth?” most of them are less confident to struggle with happiness and more confident to fight against life matters. They have suggested to them self that it would be safer if they scarified their today for their tomorrow. This reflection rattled them.

Sometimes it is the best thing that ever can happen to an individual where getting lost in a large and unfamiliar city.  Coz it gives us a chance to discover who we are and what we really need in our life. But it is not happening all the time. In the world where we live, thinking we are the center of world gives an automatic consciousness that why we bother about others or why we bother about what we really need. The environment and the circumstances created a situation where we think that we can buy anything….annnnnny thing if we have enough money. Finally money became the ultimate goal and everything else just words without meaning.

It is sad that their individual identity is being consumed by the external forces and they have lost the consciousness of self-worth.  As far as I believe career is something that can help someone to make their own choices and when they do those choices won’t cause any harm to their inner personality. We lost in the middle and unfortunately we lost ourselves forever.  In a way they are selfless people who do lifesaving work and expect nothing other than the happiness of their dear ones. So how come I call him selfish or how come I’ll be judgmental. Life is not fair that’s what all I can say. How come we expect them to cry, laugh or love for someone unknown or for something lifeless when they have limit all their human interactions to whatsApp, Viber and FB. Knowingly or unknowingly we used to recognize the emoji’s but failed to realize the lines in the face of the person who is sitting next to us.  We listen to loud music but not sensitive to the long gasps of the loved once. We asked people to be polite, be committed, be honest but never bother to think why people can’t be sometimes.   

With all this they are great humans. Who lost but not for them. According to Willibald Ruch, a psychology professor at the University of Zurich who researches the effects of character strengths such as gratitude and humor, “gratitude does have a good impact on happiness, that it increases life satisfaction”.  So be sincere to them. Be grateful to them.  Coz for them your gratitude is how you connect yourself to them, and their gratitude is seeing themselves in connection with things larger than themselves. 

The Caprice: Life beyond Buttons, Needles and “Jipperes”

The Caprice: Life beyond Buttons, Needles and “Jipperes”:   How important is money for life? … Can anyone answer how money changes life? … Changes everything? … Can we do anything about that? …...